December Bonus Story #2 -- Video
Added 2022-12-07 21:40:36 +0000 UTCPolitics and family get togethers sure do have a way of bringing out something else in people. What do you think about OP's holiday rule?
Comments
the difference between boundary and ultimatum: ultimatum says "either YOU do this or this happens" where as a boundary says "hey if you do that again, then I will walk away" so one is saying the other person better do something whereas the boundary is where you would have to do something go no contact etc if they keep crossing a line
Goth Goddess Barbie ššš¤šŖ
2024-05-28 03:00:48 +0000 UTCi think it also hurts bc i would love to not have to discuss politics at family gatherings. but if someone is homophobic or transphobic at the dinner table, my choices are accept degradation or stand up for myself and i really shouldnāt be expected to bite my tongue for other peoples comfort when they cannot give me the same grace
Maddie
2024-02-27 22:39:58 +0000 UTCik im late to the party but iāve been making my way through the bonus eps. something iād like to add is that i really donāt like how they havenāt defined where the line is drawn as to whatās a political statement and whatās not. i often feel like iām blamed for bringing politics into things when iām provoked by family members about my identity. for example, say my family did this and my grandfather says āi donāt understand why everyone ignores me on facebook. why do you not respond to my messagesā in this scenario that doesnāt sound like a political statement. but the reason we all ignore him is political. i cant help but feel this agreement would lead to people provoking someone knowing the only rational answer is political and getting a kick out of the fact they can say whatever they want and their family members have to pay to call them out. the only time i can see this being fair is if these seemingly non political statements were punished rather than the person who stands up for themselves
Maddie
2024-02-27 22:38:22 +0000 UTCSorry for the long comment - but as someone who WAS the child to the oppositional parent- I WOULD have rather not come to the gatherings at all. Every family celebration (minus maybe 1 or 2) was absolutely ruined by my parent arguing about everything. For me, it wasn't easy to have a good time with my cousins, knowing that upstairs my parent is just being so loud and making rude comments to people and bringing up things that just hurt or offend everyone (didn't even HAVE to be politics). I'd go home every time, feeling less and less connected to my extended family because the longer time went on, the more insane the gatherings got- but literally only because of my one parent. Since most of the rest of the family was pretty level headed, they started not coming. One year an aunt and uncles and their kids wouldn't come, then 2 sets the next year. They started having separate celebrations with just my grandparents or whatever- so there could be some peace. Also, I just have to add that the fact she would have split the money between the family and not keep it? Extra not the AH- sounds like she always hosts the whole family and buying food, cooking, decorating, cleaning etc for a whole extended family can be a lot! She's probably putting a lot of time money and effort into this and doesn't want all her hard work to end in everyone feeling bad
Aja
2023-02-24 05:37:46 +0000 UTCi think thereās truth in what everyone had to say here. while i donāt think there needed to me money involved, i do think that could still be a strong boundary that the host sets. if you talk politics, the subject will be changed & if you persist, then you will be asked to leave. like a no tolerance rule! there are so many other things that you can talk about and family time is too important to just choose to not go because youāre hell bent on aggravating others & pushing your opinions on them.
hannah b
2022-12-19 00:37:06 +0000 UTCyou must be joking right? Coming from someone who is extremely liberal there were absolutely no 'republican' vibes coming from Lauren. It's honestly not as deep as you're making it. I am very liberal with my political views and I would say that my parents are too, we call out our grandparents for having harmful political views and make it clear that we won't tolerate their views. I see my family once every few weeks and I'm not about to ruin a special day where we're all coming together to celebrate by bringing up politics. Trust me when I tell you I'm usually the first person in the room to start a political debate and to raise awareness on issues that need attention, but there's a time and place, and just because I'd want to enjoy family time without politics does not make me a bad person.
Meg Price
2022-12-15 15:13:09 +0000 UTCI loved Lauren in this episode and always love hearing her takes, she is definetly for me. Unrelated quote of the day: "if you have nothing nice to say about someone, dont say anything at all"
Dannielle Hunt
2022-12-13 06:05:38 +0000 UTCLauren gave me the ick in this episodeā¦ It is such a place of privilege to ānot make things politicalā and she gave off strong republican vibes. I loveeeeeedd what Morgan and alejandra had to say though! It was funny to hear lauren start off by saying that this is idea was borderline āgeniusā and then slowly retract once the rationale people in the conversation weighed in. It is my belief that each individual person should leverage whatever power they hold for the greater good. Morality and politics are interwoven and when your politics threaten my existence then it is impossible to not talk about it - especially with family, if you cant talk politics with family then when can you? You should always be encouraging the people in your life to vote with kindness and others in mind. Also what if this family was full of republicans and they all decided that they would egg on the liberal to talk politics by saying something racist or misogynistic etc just to get them to loose their $500 deposit? I could absolutely see something like that happening to āteach them a lessonā. Anyways glad this mainlys morgans show because lauren is definitely not for me.
Lily Falcon
2022-12-11 22:18:11 +0000 UTCAlejandra's impulse is the same as mine. When I show up to family events I am nicknamed "triggered" because of my history of PASSIONATELY calling my family members out for their blatant ignorance, spreading misinformation, and bigotry. In my experience politics keep coming up even after me clearly stating that I will not be keeping my opinion to myself when it comes to certain topics. I'm not saying people can't have different opinions to my own because that is ridiculous and narrow minded but when it comes to spreading hate I will not be a passive person in those situations especially when no one in my family is impacted by what they say, meaning no one is in a marginalized group yet they speak on them as if what they know is fact. I also really liked that you guys touched on the fact that to not discuss these topics is a privilege, a reality many people don't understand.
Grace Tolliver
2022-12-09 14:56:05 +0000 UTCI think the buy-in is a great idea, itās just the price was a big high. $20 or $50 wouldāve been more reasonable. They couldāve made it a game to try to get folks to not talk politics and lighten the mood for the holidays.
B B
2022-12-09 04:56:41 +0000 UTCTotally agree with Alejandra on intervening. If for example Uncle Greg's new girlfriend (made up people) says something racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc. I'm not going to let that slide because bystanders are complicit (excluding obvious exceptions such as when intervening is a risk to your safety). I wonder how this would work under these rules because I see these issues as basic human rights. Would Uncle Greg's girlfriend lose her deposit for her hateful comment? Would I lose mine for responding, or just the person who started it? I think this concept is okay in general but needs a lot of refining including less money, but I wouldn't want to attend a gathering with people I so fundamentally disagree with on basic human rights anyway
Courtney DC
2022-12-08 02:16:58 +0000 UTCPolitics have definitely shifted from being able to agree to disagree on actual political matters vs today where itās a conversation on whether LGBTQ, POC, and undocumented people deserve rights/equal and fair treatment and if we should believe doctors and modern medicine. For this story if discussing politics is that important to the couple then they should sit this one out as it would clearly make other family uncomfortable as well as themselves. I totally agree w/ Alejandra that itās so tough to bite your tongue with some matters and educate on others in a way that doesnāt stir the pot if itās not something that can be easily navigated or avoided then itās best for everyone to spend those days apart. Why would you want to spend the holidays if you feel that level of hostility for either party? It sucks but better to be happy than have those hostile holiday memories
Cilla
2022-12-07 23:10:07 +0000 UTC
