ode to a faux grecian urn
Added 2024-04-02 13:59:49 +0000 UTCor: towards a theory of styrofoam gothic
Comments
Why does all the furniture look cheap? You've spend millions on the house, but then furnish it with what looks like plastic patio furniture and Marlo clearance items. Screams I spent all the money on the horrifying house.
IdenticalOskar
2024-06-01 14:26:50 +0000 UTCHonestly I'm offended that a house that big only has 5 bedrooms. My friend's technically-not-mcmansion is half that size and has 7 bedrooms! Having a giant-ass house and not having enough rooms to invite everyone you know to stay at is the ultimate sign of sociopathy.
Lanth
2024-04-09 04:03:47 +0000 UTCI do remember Raggity Ann and Andy, but I've also had multiple colonoscopies. Well done, there. However, my young children also have Raggity Anns and I'm not subjecting then to the probulator on that grounds alone. (My mother made the dolls for them, in case you're wondering.)
John W. Moore-Weiss
2024-04-05 14:34:54 +0000 UTCWhat I don’t get: they spent vast amounts of money on crap but can’t buy original art?
Carol Avila
2024-04-05 02:04:45 +0000 UTCThe mantle on top of the mantle in family room #2 (3?). What is that about?
kc
2024-04-04 00:33:21 +0000 UTCFrom now on when my boss asks me to work late I'm going to tell him, "GET IN THE MAKEUP HOLE UGGO"
Tim from New Hampshire
2024-04-03 15:33:18 +0000 UTCMaybe letting the windows get grimy is their way of avoiding spending millions on curtains?
Mike Traynor
2024-04-03 04:00:24 +0000 UTCI got the willies from that makeup hole. No way I'd go in there except backwards facing the entrance. With a shotgun. And I do remember Raggedy Ann. My Mom made my sister and I Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy dolls when we were 3 or 4. And I've had several colonoscopies. All clear, so far, thanks for asking and get the hell off my lawn!
Mike Traynor
2024-04-03 03:57:22 +0000 UTCI don't even wanna think about how much time and money goes into keeping all those windows clean
Regina Randolph
2024-04-03 03:36:00 +0000 UTCOkay I will be honest I weirdly love the shower (or at least what I can see of it) but WHY does the pool look like a toilet with another, tinier toilet set into the seat? WHYYYYYY Also it was very generous of you to let them skate by with that mysteriously shaped basketball court slash parking lot. That has to be theirs, right?
Rose Lerner
2024-04-02 23:45:46 +0000 UTCThe tile floors are because they need roller skates to get around.....
rtpoe
2024-04-02 23:27:43 +0000 UTCPlease, am not familiar of America. Entire village live in this construction , yes?
Donald Barclay
2024-04-02 21:42:29 +0000 UTCSometimes I think I could use some more floor space. Then I see what people do with more space and I'm very grateful for the acres I do not have.
Christoph Moench-Tegeder
2024-04-02 21:13:39 +0000 UTCThe one time I saw a raised floor for the dining room it was a concrete slab so nothing would clink when people walked around.
Constantine Hannaher
2024-04-02 20:58:19 +0000 UTCThese articles are the only thing that makes my cold internet-battered soul laugh out loud still.
Ben Oliver
2024-04-02 17:13:44 +0000 UTCIt's like you took an already too-big McMansion in a 3d program and scaled it 250%.
Harry Teasley
2024-04-02 16:44:35 +0000 UTCNever mind the makeup hole that shower is a goddamn hallway.
Rachel Walker
2024-04-02 16:33:20 +0000 UTCI wonder if OnlyFans would accept drone footage of bathing middle-aged wine moms.
Jason Heimann
2024-04-02 16:22:05 +0000 UTC500 sf of foyer and not a got damn place to sit and change into your house-shoes. Filthy heathens. Also, no, I don't remember Raggedy Ann but yes, I'm hours from my first colonoscopy. Thanks.
Jason Heimann
2024-04-02 16:20:15 +0000 UTCGiant bathroom mirror angled perfectly to blind you with reflected sun while you bathe
Edward Knigge
2024-04-02 15:55:16 +0000 UTCI'm watching them build "The House of Many Gables" a couple miles from here. No wonder roofers have so many fatalities and injuries.
allanfranta
2024-04-02 14:26:28 +0000 UTCI wonder what rich people store in those armoires. Blankets? Their Blu Ray collection? Cartoonish bags of spare money?
WthinWthout
2024-04-02 14:25:57 +0000 UTCFirst thought: "ooh I love when a house color is the same as the driveway". Is the line "The American mind desires clearly demarcated space, which, sadly, is verboten in our culture" a dig at the constant open-plan-ness of housing options? I know I love having actual ROOMS and PRIVACY and it drives me nuts that I'm seemingly alone in that!
Annie
2024-04-02 14:07:16 +0000 UTC"styrofoam gothic". That's a Homeric put-down.
Victor Eijkhout
2024-04-02 14:06:32 +0000 UTC
